It's a New Year and A New Generation

It's been a while since I have posted anything, but so much has been going on. Christmas came and went in a flurry of presents, squeals of delight, and the inevitable family argument. New Years came and went with a good friends fortieth birthday party. So much black it was scary. Now it seems that my little girl has grown over night. My daughter is five years old now and I have to sit back and wonder where did time go. Wasn't she just born yesterday? She is a totally independent little person. It seems she dosen't depend on me as much as she used to. No more crying in the night for mom. No more cuddling with mom, no more does she need me to do every little thing for her. My daughter has become her own person in the blink of an eye. Where did the time go? She will be starting school in August of this year and I know it will probably be more difficult for me then it will her. She will make her own friends, her own intrest, her own world. I think it will make me cry. But you know what I can still remember my school years, suprisingly enough. I can remember my mom being there even when it seemed I didn't need her always standing just in the background waiting until I called. Being at all kinds of school functions, field trips and carting me to many, many, many vollyball and basketball games. She was always there just in the background cheering me on, just waiting for me to call. I want to be that kind of person, I want to be that kind of mom. I want to be able to take a step back and just be there when she needs me. I want to be able to let her go and create her own place in the world. I don't want to constanly wonder if she will be okay or if she is strong enough or smart enough to do it on her own. I just want to be there waiting for when she calls.

I know it is probably a little soon to worry about these sorts of things, but then again she did turn five over night, next time I blink she might be sixteen ;). Scary thought!

That's all for now, time to go. I think I hear my daughter calling.